Spitting is an
aggressive behavior that undermines adult authority and does nothing to endear
your child to his peers. Keep in mind that children are poor problem solvers.
Causes include attempts to handle stress, an expression of anger, a bid for
negative attention or a means of defense. Remain calm responding to the
situation
Self-Defense
Children sometimes spit to defend themselves.
According to child behavior expert Dr. Eisa Medhus, your child may resort to
spitting because he does not have the verbal skills necessary to defend himself
in more productive ways. Teach your child how to leave situations that make him
angry, rather than staying in a situation and pushing himself beyond his limits
until he becomes frustrated and starts spitting at others.
Attention Seeking Behavior
Expression of Anger
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
Self-Defense
Children sometimes spit to defend themselves.
According to child behavior expert Dr. Eisa Medhus, your child may resort to
spitting because he does not have the verbal skills necessary to defend himself
in more productive ways. Teach your child how to leave situations that make him
angry, rather than staying in a situation and pushing himself beyond his limits
until he becomes frustrated and starts spitting at others.
Attention Seeking Behavior
If your child is spitting to gain
negative attention, it's best to ignore the behavior to stop the problem.
Negative attention-seeking behaviors are only effective when a parent becomes
upset, reinforcing the behavior by giving the child attention. If you ignore
her, your child will learn very quickly that spitting is not an effective way
to get attention. Consistency is important. Even one or two incidents of
reinforcing this negative behavior will make it very hard to correct.
Expression of Anger
If your child is angry and doesn't have good
problem-solving skills, she spits as an expression of that anger. Handle this
problem by allowing your child a safe environment in which to express her anger
and validate her feelings while holding boundaries. Try saying, "I
understand you are angry. I would be angry, too, if that happened to me.
However, spitting is not an acceptable behavior, and we don't act that way in
this house."
Copying Others' Behavior
Your child is likely copying other kids' behaviors, if the behavior has started after he was exposed to a new friend or situation. Ignoring the negative behavior and eliminating or limiting your child's exposure to this peer are problem-solving strategies. Talk to the other child's parent to work together to solve the problem
Copying Others' Behavior
Your child is likely copying other kids' behaviors, if the behavior has started after he was exposed to a new friend or situation. Ignoring the negative behavior and eliminating or limiting your child's exposure to this peer are problem-solving strategies. Talk to the other child's parent to work together to solve the problem
A child often spits to
illicit a reaction from adults or to show contempt for something when verbal
explanation isn't possible. Spitting is a habit that can follow your child
throughout life and cause problems, so it's important to do what you can to make
your child stop spitting as soon as you notice a problem. Through patience,
gentle probing and natural consequences, you can show your child that spitting
is wrong and it will not be tolerated.
Step 1
Refuse to
react when your child spits. Your child spits knowing that it's shocking
behavior and to illicit a negative reaction from you as an adult. By not
reacting, you tell your child that his spitting is not impressive. Instead of
yelling or expressing surprise, move quickly into your natural consequences or
discipline to show him that it is unacceptable behavior and that it doesn't
give him what he wants.
Step 2
Ask that your
child clean the spittle and apologize in a calm and controlled manner. If your
child refuses, consider discipline, such as a removal of privileges or a
timeout in her room. If she agrees to the clean-up and apology, hand her a
towel and explain to her calmly that spitting spreads germs and is not an
acceptable way to use her body.
Step 3
Teach your
child verbal and healthy ways to react and display her emotions. Explain that
spitting isn't okay, but other methods, like talking about her feelings,
drawing a picture or letting an adult know can help her express anger in a more
constructive way. Model these positive methods of dealing with anger and
sadness to provide your child with a good example.
Step 4
Explore
alternative reasons for the spitting. If your child doesn't seem to be spitting
when dealing with emotions like anger, sadness and fear, his spitting could
actually be a form of obsessive compulsive disorder, notes psychotherapist for
mentalhelp.net, Allan Schwartz. Frequent spitting could also be the sign of a
sensory disorder, for which your child will need medical diagnosis.
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